Vegetarian Veal

Dubrovnik, Croatia

Walking through Dubrovnik's old town, I stumble across a restaurant with outdoor tables and people eating scrumptious-looking food.

"Vegetarijanski Restoran" says the menu, in Croatian.

My knowledge of the Croatian language is roughly equivalent to my knowledge of advanced pediatric brain surgery, so I am not entirely certain that I understand what that means. But sticking my neck out, I deduce that "Vegetarijanski Restoran" means "Vegetarian Restaurant."

Groovy. I'm not vegetarian, but hey, but a little eggplant never hurt anyone, so I find a table and open the menu to the English section, where it confirms that "Vegetarijanski Restoran" really does mean what I think it means.

Beneath the words "Vegetarian Restaurant" are a list of options. They start with salads. Green salad, mixed vegetable salad, shrimp salad, chicken salad....

Ummm... forgive my cultural insensitivities, but where I come from, chickens become highly irritable when you call them "vegetables."

My eyes wander further, into the main courses, where, among other vegetarian delights, one can order two different kinds of grilled shrimp, or chicken, or "rump steak," "Steak on the grill," "steak in mushroom sauce," or my own personal vegetarijanski favorite, "veal medallions with truffles."

I end up having shrimp, and a "mixed salad," which consists of lettuce, cucumbers, and tomatoes in equal proportions. I am deeply disappointed with the oil-and-vinegar salad dressing. I was hoping for some sort of meat sauce.