Just when you thought it was safe to walk down the street in Seattle without getting whacked by cranky citizens with petitions, a firestorm of controversy is brewing over the past and future of the Alaskan Way Viaduct.
Let us quickly review the history of the elevated motorway:
April, 1953: The first section of the viaduct opens. Allan
Pomeroy, Seattle's mayor at the time, proclaims, "You will be able to
drive from Spokane Street to the north end of Green Lake without
stopping for a single traffic light." The mayor is basically correct.
What he fails to realize is that you will soon have to stop every 30
feet or so because Seattle is about to experience a phenomenon known in
the scientific community as "too many damn cars."
February 28, 2001: Seattle is rocked by a large earthquake.
Several paperback books fall off of my bookcase. They are not damaged.
Concerned engineers do "emergency repairs" (to the viaduct, not my
paperback books) and declare it (the viaduct) safe to drive on.
March 26, 2001: A big chunk of metal falls off the viaduct, nearly squishing a mother and her baby. Oops. Engineers declare the viaduct not so safe after all. They close it once again and purchase an extra-large roll of duct tape.
April 3, 2001: The Seattle Post-Intelligencer reports, "Viaduct partially reopens, but traffic is still a mess." Traffic in Seattle? A Mess? Must have been a slow news day.
Now, here we are in... ummm... 2006, I think, and politicians and preservation groups are sharpening up their claws as they prepare to battle over whether to tear down the viaduct before somebody gets killed, or whether to leave it standing, and declare it a national historic site.
I'm torn. On one hand, we tear down everything in America. We have no super-old buildings like they do in Europe. Did you know that in Rome, they have a huge stadium called the Collosseum that was actually built before Ronald Reagan was even born? The Collosseum has survived centuries of wars, violent storms, and even Elton John singing "Crocodile Rock," because Rome has no Major League Baseball team to demand its implosion. Maybe we should be more like Europe and keep our crumbling structures standing, shrouded in scaffolding, so that future generations can come stand in long lines and pay high ticket prices to gasp, "Ooh! How old!"
On the other hand, The viaduct is an ugly, withering eyesore that could topple over at any moment and kill you.
Yes, you. When viaducts topple over and squish people, they never squish... oh... annoying freaks in Darth Vader outfits who are starved for attention. They squish nice people like you instead. It's all part of the great unfairness of life.
The good news about the viaduct, no matter which side of the issue you are on, is that Seattle now has something to squabble about again. Life here has been kind of boring since the Monorail plans crashed and burned.
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