Congratulations Pittsburgh!

Dear Pittsburgh,

When I was six years old, I thought you had the coolest city in the world.

I thought this because every Christmas, my family would all pile into our poop-brown Dodge Duster (kind of like the color of UPS's marketing campaign) and drive from our house in Maryland to my grandparents' house in Minnesota. My stupid little brother, Steve, and I would sit in the back seat and listen to trucker songs by C.W. McCall on my Panasonic tape recorder. And every year as we were driving through Pittsburgh late at night, I would see fire in the sky. I thought that was cool.

The fire in the sky was coming from the tops of giant smokestacks. Flames were bursting from the top of these skinny towers. It was some sort of factory -- paper, I think. A awful stench emanated from the factory. It made your city smell really bad, but I didn't care about that. I just thought it was cool that a city had big towers with flames coming out of the top.

So today, my city and your city played a football game, and your city won. That's okay. That is how professional sports work. At the end of a season, one city gets to celebrate, and the other city gets to talk about "next year" and complain that they were "robbed" by bad calls on the part of biased referees.

Truth be told, I thought one of your touchdowns was bogus. I watched the slow-motion replays, and I don't think you had the ball over the goal line. And for the record, nobody else in Seattle thinks you did either.

It is for that reason that I am happy that you beat us 21-10. Because if we had scored that other touchdown we almost scored, the score would have been 21-17, and then all million-or-so people in Seattle would be shrieking about injustice. That's what people do when they lose big games.

Really, I don't think a bad call on the part of a referee constitutes "injustice." I mean seriously, there are innocent civilians in many places who are being bombed, shot, kidnapped, knifed, because one government doesn't like another government. That is injustice. Closer to home, Superbowl Sunday is one of the biggest days of the year for domestic violence. That is injustice. When you put things in perspective, I don't think a bad call in a football game constitutes injustice. I think it sucks. But hey, sometimes life sucks.

Actually, Pittsburgh, I think your victory in today's Superbowl is justice. It levels the playing field. I mean, come on. You are Pittsburgh. We are Seattle. You deserve something in your lives to make you happy. You need this party more than we do. You're Pittsburgh.

My neighbors down the hall say there were two bad calls. They say if neither of those bad calls had happened, Seattle would have won. But we can never know for sure, can we?

Anyway, bad calls or not, you won, Pittsburgh. You are the champions. I saw how happy your coach looked after the game -- like he was experiencing true bliss. As everybody around me was sinking into a deep depression, I refused to join their mood. I allowed myself to feel happy because your coach looked happy and your city feels happy. It is a good thing that in this country tonight, one city is gleeful.

So congratulations, Pittsburgh. And thanks for an exciting game.

Love,
Dave

P.S. I'm sorry your city smells bad.

Comments

[Michael P. O'Connor]

Pittsburgh is not the dirty city you remember from you youth, there is no steel mills in the city, I live in the city. If you want check out http://photos.mikeoconnor.net/thumbnails.php?album=1 and http://photos.mikeoconnor.net/thumbnails.php?album=34 and finally http://photos.mikeoconnor.net/thumbnails.php?album=35 those are pages of pictures of the city, pittsburgh is a great city, you should come visit it some time. As to the game, I am more of a hockey fan, to bad our hockey team this year SUCKS big time.

[Michael P. O'Connor]

Oh I should have said, all the pictures on those 3 pages are all from inside the city. Also there is much to be happy about Pittsburgh, and much to love about Pittsburgh.

Passive Agressiveness is awesome. Hey, I just noticed, that you are bald just like your QB. At least you don't have to wipe your head with a wash cloth during interviews. Thanks for being happy for us. By the way, How is the music scene up there these days?