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Friday, April 15, 2005


Sorry to hear about your bad day!

Reasons I wish I were Dave:

It is one of many of my dreams to be paid to travel and write, my two favorite things in the world. I realize that this insane travel schedule would interrupt other aspects of my life, such as my ice hockey career and sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day trying to look busy, but by not playing hockey, it would save on medical bills and by not sitting at a desk for 35 hours a week, I would be able to be more active, thus not needing hockey for exercise.

So Dave doesn't have a significant other. I can see where that can be disheartening, but at the same time, it's better than being with someone who, even after a year, can't bring himself to call me his girlfriend in front of me, despite having moved in together two months ago. So I ask you, which is worse: having no significant other, or having one who won't admit it, let alone even THINK about uttering the "L" word (no, not the lesbian program on HBO).

Finally, while it hurts to lose a neighbor's pet, especially one with a name as cool as "Tabby," by attaching oneself to other people's pets (or kids, for that matter), just think of all the food you don't have to buy, the accidents you don't have to clean up, and the heartache you don't have to feel when your cat loves your neighbor more than you. :)

It sucks to have bad days... I've been there myself. It's great to be able to vent and to have a forum in which to let it all out. Just don't get too down... you have it pretty good. If you ever need to hang with a kitty, you should check out Marleau, my orange monster. He plays fetch and knows how to say "Hello."

Down With Dave!

Dave, you should keep your chin up!

I'm sure Tabby will send postcards, and will frequently think of your purrrrfect petting and TLC.

I'm also convinced it was your girlfriend, not you, who was "sparkless." Who on earth would think someone who loves cats, travel AND playing the fiddle had no "spark?" Go figure. There are many other fish in the sea, Dave, and as you're about to go abroad, I'd be looking into that. Aren't you going to be in the Baltic?

Besides, if nothing else, you can be a solo fiddle player. Why not?

Good luck.


Sorry to hear about your crappy day. Keep focused on the funny...your good at it. And remember, we can't worry about situations we cannot control, whether it's sparks or being replaced. Just keep doing what you do best.

Now having said that, my advice to you(as I hand you a six-pack of beer) is to start drinking heavily.

Take care.

Well Dave, I knew there had to be something wrong when I saw your bleach.. Why is that? Why do we get through bad times by giving our hair(remaining that is) a nice treat? Is there any logic to do the cutting and the bleaching on the outside of the head? It is the inside that needs a "bleach"!
Therefore; a recipe for brrre's "Cry Martini":
1. Several parts of hard liquor, just any(!) type will do...
2. A dash of something salty. Tears will do...
3. A hint of something bitter. Thoughts will do...
4. Crushed ice. Your "girlfriends" heart will do.., after you're finished with it...

Mix with preferred drugs and stir & shake 'til you drop!! Works wonders...

Seriously Dave; you lasted five dates. That's more than most who wants to marry millionaires and stuff...

The Cat? You will never, ever become the first writer in space (and then president) by loving the neighbours’ cat. Buy a pitbull, they love being alone in your apartment... And; get Miss Crazy to feed it.

The band? Well, if you hadn't gone back to The US in -87, who knows where "His Masters Toys" would have been today. Their loss..., but don't(please) bring your fiddle this summer. I'm afraid it will attract my neighbours’ dog, and it hates cats! ;-)

And remember; I know little of girls, other than that I do like 'em, but after one(!) date they usually find out that they don't like me...

I know at lot about cats, they vandalize your apartment until you love 'em. Then they die.

And, at last, I know a lot about getting fired! Man, that sucks! You should try that on yourself, that will help you forget about women, and at the same time cheer you up a bit: " To hell with that woman, I've got fired!" and; "Man, that was a shitty day! At least I got to fire that sulky Dave..". See? Life is easy....

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