Okay... let's review:
1) A woman has just sold a grilled cheese sandwich on eBay for $28,000. She claims the sandwich is a miracle sandwich that has an image of the Virgin Mary burned into it, and that the sandwich is ten years old but has never gone stale, and never developed mold even though it's just been sitting on her nightstand all these years.
2) There are people who not only believe this, but who would also suggest I am going to hell because my own spiritual beliefs do not support the concept of the Virgin Mary appearing in grilled cheese. Pizza, maybe, but....
Here's the thing: I follow a Chinese philosophy called Taoism. I do this quietly. I'm not out to convert anybody else. It's just what works for me. I have had self-proclaimed "Radical Christians" scream in my face before that I will burn in hell if I do not accept their faith. And I'm not sure who's been bidding up the price of this sandwich, but somebody ratcheted it all the way up to $28K. My guess is the people who believe in the miracle sandwich are the same ones damning me to hell.
Fair enough. If people who find their spirituality rooted in nature rather than grilled cheese are going to hell, I'm not even going to try.
The happy news about this sandwich is that the winning bidder was not someone so sadly desperate for a miracle that they would pay for something like this. The winning bidder was an online casino that bid on the sandwich as a publicity stunt. The casino's owner told the Miami Herald, "It's a part of pop culture that's immediately and widely recognizable.... We knew right away we wanted to have it."
The casino is now consulting with food decay specialists "to try and figure out how this sandwich stayed in such good shape over the years," a casino spokesman told the Herald.
The casino plans to send the sandwich and its seller, Diane Duyser of Miami, Florida, on a world tour to be photographed at places like the Taj Mahal, Red Square, and the Eiffel Tower.
Duyser says she has "never even been on a vacation before," which is tricky to fathom, considering she also claims the sandwich helped her win $70,000 at a casino in her neighborhood.
For those of you who are tired of me writing about this, the happy news is I'm probably done. Yes, I have squandered way too much blog space on this sandwich. In my defense, I would like to point out that I have written nothing about Paul McCartney's upcoming performance at the Superbowl Halftime Show, whereas every single other website on the Internet has had the same smirky comment this week about McCartney having a "wardrobe malfunction." Now there's a joke that got stale fast.
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