A man in Nebraska who was convicted last week of sexually assaulting a child was sentenced to 10 years probation rather than 10 years in jail. Why? Because he's really short.
Richard W. Thompson is 5-foot-1, and the judge who sentenced him said that jail would be too hard for a man as short as him.
Personal message to Cheyenne County District Judge Kristine Cecava: Prison is not supposed to be a picnic! We're talking about a 50-year-old man who sexually assaulted a 12-year-old girl! How tall was the girl he assaulted, Judge Cecava?!
I happen to be really short myself. My driver's license says I'm 5-foot-4. (I rounded up half an inch.) Normally I am pleased when people acknowledge that, yeah, short guys have it rough sometimes.
(Personal message to the 6-foot-2 guy who weaseled his way in front of me at the Parliament concert last week: Was I blocking your view, or what? Next time, could you please at least use deodorant? The scent at your armpit level was not pretty.)
But Judge Cecava, seriously, have you considered the precident your ruling sets?
Now, if you will all excuse me, I'm going to Nebraska to rob a bank or something.