I have not blogged in many a day, which is due to the fact that my insane life has been insane in a supersized kind of way this past week. Don’t take it personally, faithful readers. I have been thinking about you, and as we all know, it’s the thought that counts.
Here are the things I have been thinking about blogging about. I shall now blog about them, albeit several days after the fact, which I realize is a little like learning how to speak intelligent English after you no longer are president of the United States, but hey, let this blog entry show that there is hope for everyone.
Cold War II
Russian President Vladimir Putin said Sunday that recent US military behavior is inciting other countries to produce nuclear weapons to defend themselves against an “almost uncontained use of military force.”
Possible presidential contender, Senator John McCain, R-Arizona, lashed back, saying Putin’s remarks were, "the most aggressive speech from a Russian leader since the end of the Cold War."
Way to go, Senator McCain! Let’s accuse the Russians of war-mongering! Yeah! That’s it!
Obama Makes it Official
After months of speculation, Senator Barak Obama, D-Illinois, announced he will run for US president in 2008. Obama said the first priority of the United States should be to withdraw its military from Iraq.
Immediately following Obama’s announcement came a barrage of criticism from... George W. Bush? No. Hillary Clinton? No.
Australian Prime Minister John Howard.
Teehee! How cute! If I were in Australia right now, I would pat the prime minister on his head.
Howard said Obama’s desire to pull troops out of Iraq will “encourage those who want to completely destabilize and destroy Iraq, and create chaos and a victory for the terrorists to hang on and hope for an Obama victory."
To Prime Minister Howard, I have just one word to say:
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! AAAHHHHHAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... HAAAA!!!
Okay. I suppose that technically counts as 27 words.
Mr. Prime Minister. I’ll tell you what. You want a military force in Iraq? How about you send 20,000+ Australians to Iraq to fix things instead of whining the US isn’t doing enough? Because seriously, your 1,500-or-so non-combat troops who are presently there really are not living up to their full potential.
With all this international rhetoric flying around, one wonders who is really in charge of the planet. One wonders who the real world power is. Is it the Great Nation of Russia? No. Is it the Great Nation of the United States of America? No. Is it the Great Nation of Australia? Teehee. Nope. It is the great nation of... Microsoft!
Yes! All hail Bill Gates! Microsoft has unveiled its new Vista operating system, its most secure system ever.
Oh, except for six security flaws reported in yesterday’s Seattle Post-Intelligencer. And maybe some others. But that’s beside the point. Microsoft is still going to take over the world, one person at a time.
Case in point: Aleksandr Ponosov.
Ponosov is a school principal in the rural village of Sepych, Russia. When Ponosov purchased 16 computers for his not-exactly-wealthy school in rural Russia, he didn’t know a lot about computers. He didn’t know they came with pre-installed software. He didn’t realize that in not-always-totally-ethical Russia (as opposed to always completely ethical America), computers sometimes come with pre-installed software that might have been installed without a license.
You and I both know what has to be done. Bill Gates is a self-respecting billionaire, which is why his company is doing what the company of any self-respecting billionaire should do. They are hauling Mr. Posonov into court. Posonov is now facing a 10,000 dollar fine and five years in Siberian labor camps.
Serves him right to try to educate people in poor, rural villages! Especially Russians! They’re trying to re-ignite the Cold War!
Go Bill Gates! This is almost as cool as the time when you threatened to sue Canadian teenager Mike Rowe for registering the domain name MikeRoweSoft.com.
Get Me Out of Here!
And on that note... I feel a need to leave. I feel a need to bail out of this country for a while... just for a week, to collect my thoughts and flee from my telephone. What should an overworked, overstressed freelance writer do when he has a massive pile of work on his desk? He should go to Norway.
So in a matter of minutes, I am off to the airport. Stay tuned for bloggage from fjord country.