The results are in! Bachelor's cure for the common cold? Don't try this at home.

I reported Monday night about a reported "Bachelor's Cure for the Common Cold."

The plan: sit in a bathtub as hot as you can bear until you have finished three beers.

The supposed result: You raise your body temperature enough to burn and sweat out the virus.

So Monday night, in the interest of medical research, I grabbed three bottles of Widmer Jubelale, one bottle of bubble bath, and a stack of travel magazines I've been needing to research, tore off all my clothes, and dove in.

Drinking three beers in a sudsy bathtub sounds delightful, I realize, but not when it involves cranking up the water to near boiling. As I slurped my malt beverages and read articles about Hanoi and Bhutan, I began to feel kind of like a lobster that's getting cooked up for dinner. Granted, lobsters do not get to drink three beers while they boil, so I guess life wasn't quite that bad, but after nearly an hour in the tub, I was feeling dehydrated, dizzy (not in a pleasant, beer-induced way), and my nasal congestion was worse than before I started the experiment. I paced my drinking, though I must confess that near the end, I felt the responsible thing was to chug my last few ounces, fearful that if I stayed in much longer, I might pass out and drown... which I suppose would have cured my cold, but not in a productive manner.

So the experience itself was not so nice, but did it work? Did my hour of suffering zap my cold?

No. I am still sick.I have the most stubborn cold in the history of medicine. It has lingered for a month now, and will likely continue to afflict me until I retire.

I've received several e-mails over the last 36 hours from people who desperately wanted me to tell them this treatment would be a roaring success. I'm sorry. I can't tell you that. If you have a cold, and you are looking for an excuse to drink beer in the bathtub, just do it. For that matter, drink beer in the bathtub even if you don't have a cold. But if you want to drink three beers, go easy on the hot-as-you-can-stand approach, or drink your second and third beers after you're back on dry land.

Comments

[chaney]

i'll try it from a girl's perspective. maybe it's for bachelorette's, too. but i'll class it up with busch lite. for science's sake.